It's the last slog of summer, and with each hot, sticky day we become more panicked.
Some questions on our minds right now: Will we ever be comfortable again? What does not sweating feel like? Is there anything to look forward to before the autumnal equinox?
The solution to our woes, of course, is to create some kind of reason to enjoy the sweltering, existentially taxing days before fall saves us. And what's a better excuse to enjoy things than a nice holiday? August needs more of those.
SEE ALSO:If you want to stay cool this summer, don't be afraid to look cornyObviously, work should be cancelled on each of these occasions, which we've detailed below for your consideration. Please discuss with your employer.
A day for dog lovers who are not dog owners, Dog Park Lurking Day celebrates the usually embarrassing act of going to the dog park without a dog to look at dogs. It's not embarrassing today, though. Today, you are supposed to do it.
Please wear sunscreen and do not bring a camera. This isn't a free-for-all.
The fun zone.Credit: ShutterstockHave you failed to go to the beach this summer? Correct your error on Go to the Beach Before It's Too Late Day. To avoid overcrowding, celebrations of this day will be staggered, taking place twice per week throughout the month of August.
Isn't that just the same thing as weekends? you ask. Yes, it is!
The "clean filter" light on your air conditioner has been on for six weeks and you know it. Today, take the opportunity to clean your dirt trap so that you may breathe clean-ish air until the equinox. While the filter is out of your unit, be sure to post a photo on Instagram. #NoFilter.
This isn't "fun," per se, but it's more enjoyable than sweating.
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Wear a cotton/linen blend. Bonus points for monochrome sets. There are no prizes.
Today is the day you finally make popsicles with the popsicle molds you bought at Tuesday Morning in 2012. Get creative. Why not throw some fresh fruit or a little booze in there? 😏
Do not actually give your dog a boozy popsicle.Credit: Merrimon Crawford/ShutterstockYour homemade popsicles sucked, so it's time to toss your popsicle molds in the glass/plastic recycling bin and eat a real Popsicle®.
Try a grape one. Your mouth will turn purple and mottled-looking, like you have hypothermia.
When Harry Met Sally is a fall movie, but there comes a day in August when the only way to escape the heat is to immerse yourself fully in Meg Ryan turtleneck culture. This is the When Harry Met Sallysolstice -- after this date, it is permissible to watch When Harry Met Sallyevery day until fall's end.
Good turtleneck.Credit: Castle Rock EntertainmentLie down on your couch. Enjoy the icy tundra your (clean) air conditioner has created. Pretend it is colder outside. It will be soon enough, and you will long for summer.
*Not actually.
